It’s never good
to compare your marriage to anyone else’s, because all relationships are
different, especially behind closed doors. Even the happiest couples can have
dark times, and it can be stressful trying to figure out whether you’ll weather
stormy moments or capsize when things get rough. Here are five ways to tell
that your marriage will make it. We’re crossing our fingers for you!
1.You don’t turn into strangers when your pals are around.
One of the best indicators of a good marriage is how you behave and feel when
you are with both your close friends and your partner. Most people feel very
relaxed and authentic around their best friends. If you were out to dinner with
a couple of close girlfriends and then your husband joined you, ideally your
behavior would change very little. Sure, the topics of conversation might be a
little different, but your basic personality and comfort level and way of
interacting should be similar. You should be able to joke the same and talk
about things that are important to you whether or not your spouse is with you.
If you find yourself censoring yourself and feeling tense, that might be an
indicator that something is a little off in your marriage.
2. You’re not constantly saying sorry. There’s
nothing wrong with apologizing here and there for mistakes that you’ve made.
It’s actually a sign of good awareness of how your behaviour affects others (a
great marker for a healthy relationship). Also, being courteous and grateful
for the help that your partner gives you is a good thing. The problem occurs
when you apologize for things that clearly aren’t a big deal, or you
over-apologize. You should feel natural and at ease around your partner with
the knowledge that they have a level of forgiveness and understanding of you.
However, if you find yourself apologizing frequently you need to consider why
that might be. Ask yourself: Are you afraid of disappointing your spouse? If
so, why is that? Why would the stakes be so high if you were to make a small
mistake?
3. You can tell
what your spouse is feeling. Of all people in this world the person you are
married to should have a strong level of awareness of how you feel. It’s not
unusual for married couples to not understand why their partner feels they way
he or she does. It’s also not uncommon to struggle to perfect the skill of
noticing when your partner is upset, hurt, or in pain of some kind. However,
once your spouse does realize that you are experiencing emotional or physical
pain, they should feel empathy and concern. It takes work in a relationship to
know what to do with that empathy (how to help your partner), but you should be
able to feel or imagine your spouse’s discomfort once you are aware it exists,
and want that discomfort to go away.
4. And you give
each other ALL OF THE FEELS. Your marriage should be a way you are able to
experience many emotions. Sure, it’s best if there aren’t a ton of negative
emotions. You do want some variety in your emotions when you’re with your
spouse because this indicates a degree of balance. If you just experience “joy”
and “fun” when you’re with your partner that might be a great thing, but you’re
likely missing out of other ways to experience intimacy. An example of a range
of feelings and states that may represent a balanced marriage would be joy,
laughter, passion, excitement, sadness, fear, stability.
5. If you get
arrested, he’s automatically your “one phone call.” The last sign of a healthy
marriage is whether or not you’re able to ask your partner for favors and help
when you’re in time of need, or for an ear to listen to you when you need to
vent. If you find that you’re calling all your friends or asking your relatives
anytime you need anything to the point where your spouse is a last option, then
that’s a bad sign.
6. When you see yourself struggling too had to keep a marriage, know they is a problem and that marriage will not last.
7. When you begin to feel happier hanging out with friends or collleques or you prefer to chat when he or she is around.
Every relationship can last only if you put in your best and try to add value to your spouse.
see you at Raw Impact on Sunday evening.
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